King of My Castle

Here I am again, listening to Nina Simone (as usual) but this time with some kind of motivation or plan or orientation, or at least a slight resemblance to these. Perfect candidate for a king, ain't I?

I happily announce that after watching Portman in Black Swan I also had the opportunity to watch the other big shot of this year's Oscar, namely Colin Firth in The King's Speech. This story is about King George VI of Britain, late father of the now reigning Elizabeth II, husband of the still gorgeous Mother Queen. I have to admit that I hadn't heard of him before watching this movie, although he lived in a well-documented and stormy period of world history, which is however, mostly rembered after Churchill and not the king, I suppose.
Bertie, for that's how the family calls him, is the younger son of King George V. He's a handsome naval officer with an elegant wife and two cute girls but he tries to avoid the limelight as much as he can because he stammers. I wonder whether anyone else noticed that Firth always plays some awkward (and all the more cute) guy who on the other hand has great dignity and self-awareness. The good old English gentleman. And here he's accompanied by my favourite weirdo, Helena Bonham Carter, playing the good wife that every great man relies on. What I especially like in the character (besides Firth's extremely credible stammer) is that it's so complex. On the one hand he seems to be a jerk but he also has a temperament. After his father's death we also learn that he believed that Bertie had more guts than the rest of the family put together. So the dilemma is whether Bertie gives in and remains a failure or stands up, pulls himself together, and becomes a king.

The metaphor or metonymy or whatever here is finding one's voice equals getting a grip on one's life. This is manifest in the scene when the speech therapist (Geoffrey Rush) provokes Bertie by sitting on the throne in Westminster Abbey, and finally Bertie shouts at the top of his lungs that "I have a voice."
This figure of speech is especially important for me because I play the oboe and I experienced the same problem of finding one's voice. Of course on a general level it refers to the way we live our life and that's my biggest issue right now. Back in December when I had a bad cough I also added to this the dilemma of swallow or cough, which can be interpreted as giving in or standing up.

The problem with me is that Nature blessed me with triple mind and half guts, meaning that it takes me ages to make up my mind on any kind of issue, from which movie to watch to which profession to choose. (However, I slightly improved regarding the first.) Basically, I would pretty much appreciate if one day a holy messenger arrived with a guide or even a script to my life, e.g. do this and that and you're going to be happy. Of course it's never going to happen and would send me to a passive position, in which case I wouldn't deserve living but still it would be so reassuring. I don't wanna wake up one day and feel that I turned out to be a failure. I wanna be king of my castle.

P.S. Have I mentioned by any chance that I'm already 24?