I was planning to eat my first calendar chocolate in the morning but didn't have time for it, and didn't have breakfast at all eventually. I had two meals today altogether, but was so out of my mind that took the same kind of pill twice within 5 minutes. At the moment I'm fighting a severe headache and the administration system of stahl.hu.
There are no news about Dad except that we are going to visit him tomorrow in the afternoon. So instead of having mulled wine, making cookies, and going to the hippie poster exhibition I'm planning to stay in Kecskemét for the weekend, make pancakes for my little sister and keep company. In the meantime I will have lots of work-related tasks as well. And I hope all will turn out fine. The fact that the world didn't stop spinning around suggests it won't in the near future, either, so we have to find the means to carry on. I hope one day we will remember these times as a turning point in his life, but one which made him stronger and a different man. He shouldn't bother with all those medium-level manager assholes in the future. Why didn't he become a swimming instructor after all? Cause really water is his element, and one should remember to feel good and not just keep pushing and trying.
Sorry I know I seem selfish here but I really don't know how to react. I can't imagine what he'll be like and just don't know what to do or say. Hope I will know it right there and then. They say we have to provide a positive atmosphere and try not to make him feel embarrassed because of the state he's in. Come on, how can he still be bothered by being seen weak? We just want him back. And of course I wish all had been different.
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