Take a week and we've been together for four years with my boyfriend (we've come a bumpy road as some linguist professor would say). In the first year he had to be at home by 8 o'clock in the evening (although he was 22 then). Each time I visited I had to say hello and bye to his father and be invisible the rest of the time. They never close the doors, so there's not much place for snogging, my friend. On birthdays and holidays I had to wait patiently until they have celebrated with the father, then the grandparents, then the mother, and finally me. I came after the mother, which is the least you can get because the father hasn't come round forgiving her ever since she left like 12 years ago.
One day some time around the second year or so Big Daddy called me into his room, had a talk with me, which included asking whether I was a vegetarian, which football club I supported, if I knew all those Hungarian rockbands he listens to from the seventies and eighties, and so on, then finally announced that from then on I don't have to announce my coming in advance and can stay up until 9.30 pm.
We've come a long way indeed. It took three sons to fight for the right of sleeping out (I mean the three of them staying out for the night) and now one of them has left home and lives with his girlfriend in Debrecen where he was ordered by the army. That particular girlfriend had been hated by the father for years for stealing the beloved son and similar capital crimes until this summer she came to help with the renovation and was welcomed in the family. And thanks to them this year, for the first time in this long history, the three of us son-stealing girlfriends were invited round for Christmas lunch.
Christmas is quite different in their family from our chaotic ways. They have all kinds of rules and rituals and order of doing things, yet in a way it's more Christmas-like than what we have at home. The father starts cooking the day before, spends whole days in the kitchen in fact. Yesterday they had Catfish a la Dorozsmai for lunch, today a huge potful of stuffed cabbage, and for dinner turkey stuffed with prune. Their tree is usually about two metres tall (2.30 this year) and they hang all kinds of orbs, tinsels, garlands, and candies on it (totally different from our decoration). They give the presents before eating (also different from our tradition). This is not a simple procedure at all. They put all the other presents under the tree, even the ones for the grandmother and other relatives. Sometimes one person gets two or even more parcels, so there are about 20 pieces under the tree, especially now that we girls also participated. (By the way, this was the first year I got a present from Big Daddy and the brothers, though I had given them something small each year.) One of the boys has to "deliver" the presents, then everyone watches as the presentee opens the parcel. If the person who will get the present is not present (he-he), the little delivery angel reads out the card so that everyone knows who the present is for. After everyone has got their presents and every card has been read out, they put everything back under the tree (both the wrapped and unwrapped presents). One thing I don't like in the rules is that you cannot kiss each other until the present giving is over; then everyone stands up and kisses everyone.
The description of our family Christmas and pictures are to come later. To sum it up, my boyfriend (who loves Christmas) said it's been the best Christmas in his life.
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