Sleepin' In My Car

If you don't know that particular feeling this song brings back, it's no use explaining.
Anyway, in case want to know what's up with me, it's deterioration, mad job hunt, peace, love, and all at the same time. There are days I spend literally seven hours on reading job ads without as much as blinking, there are days when I spend hours adjusting my CV photo (e.g. brightness of the teeth, shape of the frame and what not), and there are days when I don't give a damn.
I mean, thank God we had the annual wine and champagne festival in our district just this weekend, which gave me the opportunity to enjoy myself. You know, soaking up the sun, diving into the music, walking home dizzy and drowsy. I even played one of the drums at the opening ceremony march, which is something I enjoy more and more. You know, it just feels so cool marching in uniforms, in the first line, beating that drum, and seeing all those people on the streets waiting just for us. After a while the smile isn't fake any more, despite the heat and the exhaustion. Then in the afternoon, you can meet up with old friends, listen to good music, and of course drink wine. Unfortunately, I don't know much about wines, just go by the looks and pick one. I tend to like sweet wine, and always ask for sweet red, and people keep telling me there's no such thing as sweet red wine, so perhaps I should revise my preferences.
Other than these small treats such as weekends, I have little else to hang on to. For example, yesterday I colored my nails emerald green, and then it feels cool, kind of like rebelling, but of course I wouldn't wear it for job interviews.
To say something more serious, one of the people who make me carry on is Kiss Judit Ágnes, a poet, who has a blog as well. Her poems and her posts always give me strength and show that there are such things as self-esteem and happiness in the world. I mean, you have to take an it's-my-life-and-it's-now-or-never approach on your life, and that's it. You know, I never even knew I was beautiful before I met my boyfriend. And now you can't take it away. And there are so many such things. Don't let them change you.