Isn't it curious that deserve can refer to both rewards and punishments? And it's the same with the Hungarian megérdemel. You know, I keep asking myself this question. Okay, don't keep, just do ask from time to time, especially after getting refusal letters from employers. Last week I was interviewed for an editorial position at a magazine, and had to write three articles on the spot. The feedback came this Monday, something along the lines of "you're too good for us".
I don't suppose it sounds new to you how much job interviews and dates have in common. For one, there's the impolite type when they ask you to drop in tomorrow at x o'clock square. And the refusal letters I get sound pretty much like the wording guys use when they want to get rid of you. I don't know if employers write this same message for every applicant, or if they really consider me special, but I really don't care how great they think I am unless they hire me. I don't need a pat on the back, really. I'm a big girl. What I need is money, and a place where I can make myself useful.
Last time it happened (on Monday, as I mentioned), the idea came to my mind that I am the Cseh Laci of jobseeking. In case you're not familiar with him, he's the guy who always comes second after Michael Phelps. And I keep hoping that one day there will be no more Phelps (or whoever his equivalent is in my case), I will get the job, and someone else will get the letter designed for next best applicants. Of course there's a huge difference here, namely that even silver medal winners earn pretty well in sport, whereas in the case of vacancies the winner takes it all, and you're left with nothing but your wounds to lick.
The other idea I had was that this is something personal between me and God (how conceited I am). I mean, provided that there's one, and presuming that he does care about and has a word in what happens to us. It's either a punishment for I don't know what sin of mine (e.g. defying him) or else, he's got something better in store for me. I don't know what this latter might be, as I would have been pretty glad with some of the posts I didn't get. I also wondered if he (or she) wants me to be a teacher after all. Especially because that's the only profession I've been paid for so far. Should I surrender or die in combat?
Unlike you, I’m no professional, but I think teaching is great. It can be laborious at times, and it is a bit of a disappointment when your words fall on deaf ears, but overall it is a profession which can be much more rewarding (not financially) than many other occupations.
ReplyDeleteI wonder which part the "unlike" refers to. Fine, I like teaching, but I wouldn't like to do it in public schools. My problem is not teaching but everything else that comes with it (lack of prestige, unstable working conditions, travelling, administration, discipline problems, writing lesson plans in my freetime). Indeed, it is much more rewarding than most of the options I have (e.g. secretarial work or tabloid journalism), what I'm saying is that I must make a living. And by living I don't mean fortune, I mean living.
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