Lovesick

Strangely enough, I'm still concerned about my libido. It can be quite embarrassing, when for example, you realize that you're flirting in a business context. Why do I do this? Does my body has a firewall, which prevents my rational self from interrupting?

I finished reading The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and found some correspondences between the protagonist, Lisbeth Salander and me. (Actually, I really like her name, good choice.) Lisbeth is a 24-year-old, introvert or even antisocial girl. She works for an investigational company and likes spying on other people. As for her appearance, she is quite a rebel, with lots of piercings and tattoos all over her body. She usually wears T-shirts with provocative statements, e.g. "I can be a regular bitch, try me."  She uses her rough look to hide her lack of self-confidence and vulnerability. We don't know much about her but it is suggested that she had a troubled childhood, she might even have been abused. She doesn't have a harmonic love life. From time to time she feels the urge to make love with somebody, be it a guy or a girl. Nevertheless, deep inside she remains detached and lonely.
As I previously mentioned, the book feautures several examples of quasi-relationships based on the participants' sexual needs. Interestingly, these relationships all involve the male protagonist, Mikael Blomkvist, who changes his partners overnight, with such ease as one would change the CD in the CD player. You know, they are friends who sometimes sleep together. In this sense there are no proper relationships in the book. Moreover, as the story evolves perverts, sadists, rapists, and serial killers step onto the scene.
To get back to my original track, I wonder how Mikael and his temporary lovers carry on with their life so easily. In fact, as we find out, Lisbeth doesn't. Cruel as she might seem, she is the one who falls in love with Mikael only to get disappointed in the end. That's typically me.
So I'm glad that I keep my daydreams and flirts on a theoretical ground. In some cases it's an ultimate choice. I would be extremely surprised if one day Orlando Bloom, let's say, would knock on my door to throw me on the floor and tear my clothes off.
Actually, this Lisbeth girl also happens to be a kind of hacker and describes such extremes of poking around in other people's business that I became a bit afraid of ever turning on my computer. I wonder if celebs ever give a thought to the number of people fantasizing about them. Imagine if they could read your mind the way phones can be tapped or computers can be hacked. What a shame it would be.