Maybe

What I experience day to day seems too complex to grasp, and when I have something tangible I usually don't have time or it's just too late, or I'm too lazy to turn on the computer and start thinking.

I chose the title after one of my  favorite Janis Joplin songs. I've been thinking about her recently, but mostly appearance-wise, because I'm planning to dress up as her at a carnival. It took me days to settle it because I really wanted to be someone I can identify with. Then came the excitement about finding the appropriate accessories. I'm going to do some shopping about it because I want to make it really cool, with feathers, fur, bangles, and all the stuff. I don't have a particular picture in my mind but several ones that I'm going to mingle and add a touch of my personality to it as well. I've been looking through pictures of her on the web and I recognized an ever-reappearing item, namely her yellow woollen vest. I'm a bit disappointed about it because I have nothing of the kind and actually the kind of vests I'm in love with are sexy black ones whose neck runs low under your breasts. Maybe I should check on second hand shops. Luckily Budapest is full of them. About the shoes I don't have any idea. I'm positive that nobody in the group is going to recognize me as Janis, mainly because I don't think they know who she is (sadly enough). Nevertheless, I want to be a proper Janis and not just an average hippie.
We also have to karaoke at the party, and I'm not sure if I'm ready for it. In the first place, I don't know which song to choose. Secondly, I don't really want to sing in public, not for them. Okay, I've been planning to start a Janis tribute band for about five years now but I've never really done anything for it, like finding members for instance, not to mention rehearsing. Blimey, there is a Janis pub in Budapest and they also have a Janis tribute band.
As I'm writing these lines (meaning the last hour or so) I'm listening to Janis because I've been thinking that I haven't listened to her for months now, which is surprising. I think this situation can be accounted for by Nina Simone and those others I'm listening to these days. Actually, I don't much listen to any kind of music now that I'm a working woman.
Then why I want to dress up as Janis? What does she mean in my little world? Forget about the biographical or character correspondences (and maybe also the look) here. Just listen to her. She's passion all over. Now that I'm listening so closely I wonder if I could ever make a good double for her. And the voice? Well, no comment. I always tried to make my wannabe boys like her and surprisingly all detested her. They said she's not singing but yelling, crying, screaming. This is such a poor description that I don't waste time on refuting it. All I can say is, if you wanna love me, you have to love the Janis part of me. So listen.

(Damn, after about an hour of selecting the right pic the net says the feature is currently not available.)