Turn Me On

Probably the best metaphor for my last few days would be the plant I got last Thursday, which was practically dying as soon as Saturday. I won't say it's because of me, even I'm not as dangerous for plants that they die in two days, but it totally depresses me. I've googled it and done everything to heal it, except for buying expensive fertilizers. And this reminds me of the song Turn Me On, which starts "Like a flower weaiting to bloom, like a light bulb in a dark room, I'm just sitting here waiting for you to come home and turn me on." This is one of the songs I'd put on my repertoire if I had a band (if I was brave enough to have a band).
I'm organizing this re-union and this too depresses me. Seems I went to school with some real assholes, only I didn't know it back then. I see them up on facebook 24 hours a day, and they don't have the guts to say yes or no. Yesterday I wrote them emails individually, so now I have a total of 9 yeses (including me) and 9 nos. And an additional nine people are waiting for I don't know what. Why can't people be frank? Why bother with them? One of the girls, who helps me organizing, says that some people don't even greet her when they meet on the street. Come on, have we gone that far? Then fuck off, really.
Probably a further reason why I'm sort of out of place today is that my boyfriend was here last night and he was quite moody when he left in the morning. He's the kind who once gets in depression cannot be pulled out of it no matter how hard I try (just like that cyclamen).
Okay, and let's admit this is because of the state of the country in general (or should I write State). I don't even turn on the TV, I mean not the news. I don't want to hear every single day a brilliant new law or regulation, aimed at ruining our education and lowering our self-esteem. My mother's husband works three shifts, and now they want to do away with extra wages for night shift and working at the weekend. It sounds like those sci-fi movies in which they have robots who do the housework and all the dirty jobs for free, only here we are not talking about robots. As I was contacting people to check if they can come to the re-union, it struck me that something like 8 to 10 of them are now working abroad or have just gone abroad. Out of about 30 people. And what does the government do to change this tendency? They want to make students sign a statement that they won't leave the country for 10 or 15 years (there are different plans) from their graduation. Those who want to leave would have to pay back the cost of their studies and their degree to the state. Of course I know that free tuition is unheard of in most parts of the world, only I don't see why people would want to stay here given the conditions. Young people are practically put off of childbearing and are barred from leaving home. Nobody has the means to have a flat or house, and nobody wants to apply for a loan. My parents also advise me to go abroad, and I might be a coward or a lame duck for not leaving. Of course I would have to work hard abroad too, but perhaps I could tell ten or twenty years later that at least I saw something of the world.
Okay, enough of complaining, at least the sun is shining. Anyway, I have to go cook some meal and write lesson plans.