"Yet another sobbing, self-embracing post," you must be thinking. Could be but I've changed my mind about it. And that's the real thing. I don't see why I have to change my mind every half an hour or so. I'm just so moody if I had to live with me I'd scream. All right, I have to live with myself but I mean from the perspective of another person, e.g. my boyfriend. As for its reasons, I can think of two things that trouble me to a great extent: bad sleep and bad diet. I'm not a spine expert or whatever but my bed is simply unsleepable. The springs are too old, the mattress is too soft, even my pillow (which I got for last Christmas, i.e. 3 weeks ago) wouldn't be wise enough and hold my neck properly. I've been dreaming of a special so-called dynamic cushion filled with air that you can sit on, and according to my unnamed source helps regenerate and strengthen your spine, thus releasing the pain. I hope to buy it soon. Actually it depends on my laziness and meanness because I've checked several websites and found their products simply too expensive.
The other thing that makes me miserable as I said is my diet and my eating habits in general. I usually eat at home, usually there's not much at home but frosted junk, so mostly I eat that. I cannot even have a nice sandwich because I'm tired of the poor butter and cheese combination and again, there's no other option, e.g. sandwich creams etc. And I usually eat these poor meals during the 15 minutes before I go to work or late in the evening when I get home. So half the day I'm hungry, the other half I have a stomachache.
Looks like it turned out to be a typical complaining post of my kind despite my better intentions.
So now that we (or rather I) solved the mystery of my changing mood let's describe what I mean by its changing. For example, I wake up feeling as an asshole, then on the way to my class I hardly manage to stay awake, then due to some miracle I come home smiling. Well, it depends on the group but luckily for me my Tuesday-Thursday evening group really makes my day. They are fun. Plus Thursday is the last weekday in my calendar which means I can spend the night with whatever I choose to. Face scrubbing, hot bath, Nina Simone, and stuff.
The great achievement of the day is that I met what L. M. Montgomery refers to "a kindred spirit," who was so kind and lent me Eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert. Actually, it was because of her (I mean the girl's, not Gilbert's) review that I wanted to read the book. I am just around the twentieth page but have great expectations about its proceedings. Gilbert, or rather the narrator-heroine of the book refers to herself as a seeker, which is precisely how I like to address myself. Funnily enough I find it quite easy to relate to thirty-something single/divorced Bridget Jones type of heroines. See, I not only have the symptoms of pregnant women, women with PMS, and elders but I also (imaginarily) share the emotional problems of women in their thirties. Especially regarding their concepts (hopes, dreams, worries) about a career and a guy. I'm planning to read the book during the weekend or perhaps next week and report my feelings about it soon.
P.S. The other thing that struck me is how antisocial and weird I am in face-to-face contexts. I have this virtually-following-each-other relationship with this girl who I actually attended a sociology class with back at university and feel embarrassed even to talk about such trifles as the weather when meeting in 3D.
No comments:
Post a Comment