Of course, as we all know, another thing which troubles people my age is settling down (or do you call it nesting?). Just this week a couple from our high school got married, I mean the guy was my classmate and the girl from the other class. Then yesterday evening I was browsing facebook and saw a girl I know from a music orchestra also had got married, and she's only 20 for God's sake. And today as I was walking out of the supermarket I saw another girl from the orchestra with her two children.
Don't get me wrong here. I'm not in Bridget Jones or Miranda-whatever-panic (from Sex and the City), envying each and every married couple or mothers with children around me, being suddenly-thirty or suddenly-single or what, no. It's just... I actually don't see how they have the means to live together. What did I do wrong? And it all comes down to money each time I ask myself this question.
If you turn on the TV or listen to a song it's all about "release your inhibitations, follow your dreams," whatever. Not follow money, become a manager, leave the country. Though my parents really would like me to do that. If not to see me succeed at least to pursue their own dreams. And now that I have a boyfriend it's a good excuse for not changing anything.
He always tells me to wait until we have secured our future financially, and then move together. I mean to a flat, because he wouldn't like to leave the country no matter what. So let's wait. But how long? A few years ago the mother of one of my friends told me if I keep waiting for the right moment I will never have kids. And I think she was right. I don't want those kids now. I just want to live my own life. Cause now I feel like a grasshopper, a burden on other people's life, a disabled, distant relative kept in the attic. (Just like Harry Potter, mind you.)
P.S. And sorry for depressing you further, Little Miss.
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