What took you so long

So here comes the nausea and the pain in your breasts yet again. Are you pregnant? No, my dear. Thank God. Or isn't it so?
According to some ignorant males women's literature is all about menstruation and masturbation. Far from agreeing I will add to this prejudice now, so please don't read on if you're not interested.
I don't know if you've ever experienced the dreadful mishap when your monthly little visitor is a bit too late. Of course, it isn't real fun if there's no real risk, I mean obviously, if there's not a chance of you being pregnant. You know, I have gone through it two or three times now and it's really maddening. First you start asking What now? Why me? What have I done? Then you start pleading with God, stuff like Please not, Not this way, Not me, Not now, and so on. Perhaps there are a few nights when you don't sleep a wink, wild awake in panic. Then, after a while, you start to rationalize it. You know you will work it out, cause that's how your mind is, you always work things out. You start thinking of accomodation, means of earning more in those remaining few months, even the name of the child becomes important.
Of course it's a really tough one, thinking you'll have to face it, breaking it to your parents and in-laws, and everyone will think you are stupid, careless, irresponsible, whatever. And naturally, you don't want to screw it all, even this pitiful life you are leading now is worth protecting. But you know, after a while you start thinking why not? I'm almost 25 now, let's face it. And it would be something totally new, something hundred percent him and me. And I kept thinking about boy names for hours, and that's when I finally calmed down.
I googled it and it turned out that hundreds of teenagers have experienced this, counting the days meticulously, panicking, running like a headless chicken, and those who answered the posts all said you have to calm down cause otherwise your menses refuses to come, sort of. And you can do exercise and drink special teas to harmonize it, but first just calm down, take a deep breath, have a drink (or not, if you want to protect the child, ha-ha).
Now that God has proved again that he won't put an innocent child through all the sufferings of my madness and panic, I am positive he would have helped us through. Yes, we could have done it, though if course I don't want it so suddenly and strikingly. I want to settle everything (well, almost), and find the appropriate name.
We have agreed on Krisztina a few years ago, in case it's a girl. I was travelling by tram, and in the moment I heard the stop "Krisztinaváros," I knew it was the right one. I don't want pretentious names like Adrienn, Nikolett, or fads, or names of Hungarian pride like Bendegúz, Álmos, you know. The problem is we had to cross out most of the nice names because of guys I once had a crush on (too many of them, you see). My boyfriend wants János after his grandfather. For him it's a big issue that he wasn't named János, so he wants to straighten it out with his would-be son. I don't want my child bearing such a serious name, especially not because of another person. I don't like it when children function as a replacement or memento, or copy, you name it. As a second name I would tolerate it, but let him be unique (and the child of the 21st century for that).
Yesterday we had this sort of argument again, with no conclusion. I even read through a calender but found all the names too ridiculous or too serious. I would be okay with Balázs, or even Milán (even he liked that one). Anyway, I haven't even come up with a proper married name (I don't like the idea of being a "né"), so let's go back to reality.